Posts Tagged ‘Rock Band’


Over the years, many people have been proclaiming that “rock is dead.”  Some are serious and point to Justin Bieber (hard to argue with that one) still others are being ironic and insist that now is the time for “paper and scissors to strike.”  Society generally hates those people.

But I am hear to tell you of another of another musical death – the death of Guitar Hero. This used to be the creme de la creme of video games.  Many evenings were lost to the flailing of toy guitars and the countless fourteen year olds pretending, for just a few minutes, that there talent was enough to make Eric Claption weep and retire, knowing he had seen the better axe man. Now that is all gone – people have moved back to gore and violence, leaving their musical ambitions behind. Guitar Hero is over.

Or maybe my complaint is just because my controller is broken and I have no money to buy a new one.

But hear me out. It is downright impossible to go and find any of the many peripherals associated with Guitar Hero.  You have a better chance of walking into Best Buy and finding, say,  a copy of The Declaration of Independence. Do me a favor.  Go to any Gamestop near you.  Seriously, go on.  Don’t keep reading expecting more jokes about boobs; those will come later.  You have some business to take care of.
Back yet?  Did you notice how there are practically no Guitar Hero or Rock Band accessories for sale?  That’s right; they are not for sale because there is not as big a market as there once was. You can probably find all the games severely discounted.  You may be able to find the cheap peripherals. But even the newer releases are hard to find.  A place near me had only one copy of DJ Hero left in stock. I have never even seen anyone play it.  This wholesale rejection of DJ Hero has become the norm.  The only people who honestly buy every single release are people who like hoarding or people who have no chance of ever seeing a naked woman.

Why?  Because the makers of the game over saturated the market.  We did not need dozens of titles of Guitar Hero but that is what we have.  We also do not need specific titles for specific bands (Guitar Hero Van Halen?).  Yet, again, we have them.  I am not sure why they felt this was a good idea. Oh wait; the almighty dollar.  This has lead to more bad ideas than any other thing in history.

So, what does this mean?  It means that these games will no longer cause people to line up around the block to buy them, or force kids to bring in jars full of pennies as though they are some sort of orphan in order to afford all the peripherals. What will happen is that most copies will end up collecting dust in the corner, with people casually asking if they want to play, only to be greeted with a chorus of indifference.

I remember the first time I played.  At the time, it seemed like the coolest thing in history. I, too, could be Ace Frehley (the song I kept playing was “Strutter”).  Most of the people seemed to agree with me.  The line to play at the party was what gathered the most attention.  The making out in the middle of the room?  Forget it, we had a guy who was about to five star “Sweet Child O’ Mine.”  Even the alcohol was ignored.  How strong does something have to be to get a room full of college students to ignore alcohol?  It requires some sort of cosmic radiation – trust me.

So, I have explained why Guitar Hero is dead. Bu why then would I say “long live Guitar Hero?”  Because it was an important part of our generation (you do not have to read this next paragraph.  It will contain very few jokes, except about drunken people and the memories they share).  There are many people, who, for brief periods of time, honestly did feel they were rock gods.  These same people, depending on what time in the evening it was, also believed they could fly and that the toilet was their best friend.  We all shared a fantasy.

We should not weep too long for Guitar Hero.  It was a momentous success that was the envy of all.  Besides, as with any fad, it must have a time gone.  But feel free to weep for a little while; there are great memories to be had.  Still, it is now important to go ahead and find some other way to occupy your time.

Like, for example, looking at pictures of boobs. (See?  I told you they were coming.  That pun is also completely intended.)