Dan Eats Cat Food’s Inferno: Circle Eight: The Sick: Anelli Six Through Ten

Posted: June 1, 2010 by kaostheory in Inferno
Tags: , ,

I will admit, friends, that the close call Astley and I had just experienced had an effect on me. No longer was I excited and interested in seeing what depths the Hell of the Internet would go to. No longer did I care to see depravity in front of me unendingly. No longer was I willing to waltz through this madness, my life on the line each step of the way. I was done. I was finished.

“I wish to leave now, Astley. I am tired of our quest.”

“Leave? You cannot leave now.”

“I appreciate the optimism in me but…”

“Optimism? No, friend. I simply tell you that you CAN NOT leave now. You must see this through or languish in these circles for eternity. Only after confronting the Lord of Darkness will you be free to leave.”

“You are joking.”

“I am not. Let us continue.”

My curses were loud and intense as we walked, though my guide seemed not to care one iota. Soon, he stopped me.

“Are you quite finished? We are almost halfway through Anello Six and you have been so consumed in your despair that you have not even attempted to determine what sins have created this ring.”

“Apologies. Who lives here?”

“See for yourself.”

All around the path staggered old, naked men, groaning quietly and bumping into each other listlessly. Bizarrely, they all were wearing birthday hats. Even more so, they were walking holding small, yellow objects in their hands. Setting aside the unsettling quality of the nudity around me, I was genuinely puzzled as to the nature of this area.

“Poet, what is this?”

“Those that dwell here took pleasure in exposing unwitting victims to the horror of Lemonparty.”


“Yes. Picture all these men except engaging in fellatio with each other. Those that used this particular website are now cursed to wander this ring endlessly, the physical embodiment of that site. They do not even have the benefit of completing the site and gaining pleasure – unnerving as it may be. Relief is not in their future. Let us move on.”

Across the next bridge and into Anello Seven, I nearly lost my footing as we came upon a massive, fleshy gorge in the ground, still pulsing and twitching, red as the color of blood inside. All those damned souls here called and keened from deep inside the gorge, only their voices escaping. The path that we followed snaked around the edge and at the end of the path sat a large golden beast. It merely nodded at us as we passed by.

“Cockus. Guardian of this Anello. Those here in the Seventh are banished to reside inside that which they used to shock and disgust people. This is the ring of Goatse.”

“I know of that one.”

“Don’t we all? So too must they forever remain inside the cavity that they so loved. Apropos, do you not agree? Onwards, friend. Gird yourself. The rest are more unsavory than these have been.”

Astley was unfortunately not engaging in trickery with me. We entered Anello Eight and I nearly vomited at the site and smell of what was there. Yet more human waste, the damned wallowing and drowning in it, yes. But there was yet more to it. This was no river. This was a pool – a pool with a geyser in the very middle, spewing further waste – fresh waste – onto the unfortunate souls. The waste, though, was not normal-seeming. Not normal-colored. It appeared more to be the color and texture of old milk yet mixed with curry. It was horrifying.


“It…they are of course steeped in feces. These were the same who would shock but would use Tubgirl for their purposes. No more needs to be said. Let us continue. Please.”

Thankfully, we left the ring, our stomachs queasy, hoping that Anello Nine would be more preferable and less horrible. We were not lucky. What reached our eyes was a different kind of awful. Thousands of souls were strapped to the ground, their screams of pain unquantifiable. All down the rows were creatures wielding swords hacking them apart, limb by limb. I merely looked at Astley for his input, knowing that questioning was pointless.

“The Pain Series, Kaos. They delighted in the misery of others and forcing them to see terrible images. Images such as burned corpses, decayed flesh, rotting animals, feces, bugs and various and sundry other violent and displeasing images. Worse yet, oftentimes the image comes attached with a virus to further infect the computer of the poor soul cursed with it. So too must they suffer the pain that they used for their pleasure as well as others delighting in their pain. They shall be hacked apart and reconstituted for all time. Come. One more ring in this Circle. Let us make haste.”

As it should be, the tenth and last Anello was the worst by far. A terrible wind whipped countless screaming souls left and right, up and down, crashing them into each other. They appeared to never grow tired nor to have their voices move to cracking and hoarseness. No, their screams were as loud and piercing as I assume they were when they first began.

“These are the worst in this Circle. They did not only indulge in sending grotesque pictures and videos to unsuspecting others, though they did do so. No, friend, they actually created flash videos and emails and the like designed to terrify others. Picture simply wishing to see a cute video of, say, a cat drinking milk when all of a sudden a horrific bloody and mangled corpse popped up in place of the animal and screamed as if it was being murdered. You would cry out yourself, perhaps soil yourself. These fiends, blown about, screaming in their earned terror, suffer their just punishment.”

As he finished speaking, we reached the gates of the Ninth Circle, having finally passed through the massive Eighth Circle mostly unscathed. For a moment, we paused to reflect on what we had already experienced and what was to come. The Ninth Circle. The worst of the worst of the Internet. I did not feel ready. I do not believe I was. Yet, the gates opened and soon we were through.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s