Why Certain Things Are Always Funny

Posted: April 17, 2010 by pred3000 in Informative

Certain things are always funny.  We have all noticed this.  However, no one has ever stopped to think about WHY certain things are always funny.  It is possible to see something a hundred times and, despite your better judgment, feel that tickle in your throat, that pain in your belly, and guffaw as though it was the first time.  I have studied what makes people laugh and have discovered why certain things are always funny.  I present to you my findings.

Fart Jokes-As the superior species on the planet, we have done everything we can do to deny that we are biological organisms.  This is understandable. No one wants to admit that they share traits with the lowly animals.  But then Mother Nature, that cruel, cruel mistress, comes along and makes us reveal our true selves.  Joking is the only option we have left.  It’s far better than trying to combat it.  We all know just how difficult such a thing is.  However, it is also a way for us to feel superior (you will find that a running theme of this article).  People who fart are clearly admitting their own inferiority.  Your laughter states that you believe yourself to be a higher being.  So, you are just a person with a massive ego.  You bastard.

Men getting hit in the Groin-OK, this is clearly the fault of the feminist movement. The male genitalia has been made fun of to the point that I wonder how they could ever be considered erotic.  It is away to gain control.  Women have long been the scorn of society for the simple crime of possessing a vagina.  Now, they are turning that scorn back around.  They cannot change it all the way; such an agenda would certainly raise ire.  So they do the next best thing-make us all laugh.  It’s a conspiracy people and you an thank me for revealing the truth. Next week: how the maritians killed JFK.

The infamous “rake to face” equation-Since the dawn of time, man has sought a way to conquer nature. Not only our bodies (that would be the fart joke item above) but the world around us.  We have sculpted things form nature, we have destroyed habitats in order to make dwellings ourselves.  Wouldn’t it be amusing to see nature’s haphazard attempt at vengeance.  My friends, welcome to the rake in face joke.  This occurs when someone steps on a rake and is given a face full of handle.  It is nature getting its revenge.  We believe ourselves to have conquered nature, but seeing ourselves being proven incorrect in such a harmless way is an obvious attempt to get us to laugh.  And it works like a charm.

Morbidly Obese Children-Again, this has to do with massive superiority complexes.  As a child, you always laughed at the fat kid.  The way his lunch box was filled with Twinkies. The way he was always shirts on any team. The way his cheeks made it look like he was storing food for winter.  Why is funny?  Well, you are laughing for the simple reason that it is not you having to undergo this torment.  There are a hundred things we could change about ourselves.  But we are simply too lazy to.  Enter the fat kid – he shows us exactly how our lives could be.  Of course, he too goes through the same sort of daily torment and is reduced to downward comparison.  That is why the short bus exists.

Ricky Gervais-Ricky Gervais is always funny.  His smile, his eyes, his deadpan delivery, his feeling as though he is the only one in the room worthy of listening too.  Plus, he has created more classic television (with just 24 episodes) then you ever will.  What have you done with your life?  This is what is called leading by example, people.

(Editor’s Note: A proper conclusion will be forthcoming…we hope.)

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