Rupert the Drunk: April Fool’s Day Edition

Posted: March 31, 2009 by pred3000 in Uncategorized

From the depths of the bottle came one man inspired to do the most random things while slowly becoming smashed. To add insult to injury, he decided to track his progress. This man is named Rupert. These are his adventures:

Rupert Writes a Term Paper
1 min-OK, I can’t goof around tonight.  I need to work on a term  paper for politics class.  And the topic is…..ah, the European Union.  No problem

5 min-You know, JSTOR really is great.  I can find so much great stuff here.  OK, here are some articles I need.

15 min-well, I got some articles I need, I got notes from my research.  I am ready to go.

35 min-OK, I got the introduction done.  Yea, I probably shouldn’t have waited until the last minute to do this.

45 min-Oh come on, now someone wants to facebook chat?  Now?  Dammit.

1 hr- OK, I have a page done.  Wow.  I think I need a Coke.

1 hr 10 minutes-that’s it, facebook chat is going off

1 hr 20 minutes-You know, once you get into this, this isn’t nearly so bad.

1 hr 45 minutes-I am…so…tired.  Why does the European Union even have to exist?!  Why?  What have I done to deserve this fate?

2 hr-OK, about halfway through.  Actually, a little over.  That’s great.  I will finish this in no…hold up.

Editor’s Note: At this point, Rupert’s phone rang, and Rupert found himself engaged in a conversation with his friend William.

2 hr 2 min-What?  No, I can’t.  I told you, I have to finish this paper.  Yes, I know that it’s great Chinese food, but come on!  What?  No, you, sir, are the fag.

2 hr 7 min-Finally, that bastard shut up.  Now to keep going.

2 hr 30 min-I find my Itunes library helps me.  I have this great play list that I made for papers.  There’s some good stuff on there.  You know, we got Boston, The Eagles,….Melissa Etheredge?  What the hell? I swear I didn’t put that on there.

2 hr 45 min-OK, seriously, this is just upsetting.

3 hr 15 minutes-OK, I am just going to ask for an extension tomorrow.  This is ridiculous.

Editor’s Note: At this point, Rupert saved the paper to his hard drive and went to bed.

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