Rupert the Drunk Watches Eraserhead

Posted: February 27, 2009 by pred3000 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

From the depths of the bottle came one man inspired to do the most random things while slowly becoming smashed. To add insult to injury, he decided to track his progress. This man is named Rupert. These are his adventures:

The Adventures of Rupert the Drunk
Today, Rupert the Drunk attempts to watch David Lynch’s 1977 film Eraserhead
1 min-Hey everyone.  Well, I got this random movie from Netflix. Something called Erasherhead.  Probably will be good for a laugh.  I’m also feeling mixed drinks tonight.  So, let’s see how this goes.

5 min-  Ok…what in God’s name is going on here?  So far there’s this guy with the worst haircut I’ve ever seen.  Luckily my talent for appletinis still remains strong.

12 min-Hooray, people are finally talking.  Wait, what?  This is weird.

20-Cut them up like real chickens?  Hahahahaha.  Oh boy, maybe I should take it easy.

Editor’s note:  At this point, possibly due to the insanity of the film or merely due to the exhorbitent amount of mixed drinks, Rupert became obsessed with finding a wood nymph he was convinced was living under his TV stand.

33 min-Goddammit you bastard.  I’m going to find you.  Then you will take me to Glomptor the head nymph and give me my gold.

45- You know…that is one ugly child.  Really, really, ugly child.  Jesus Christ!  Why does the child look so ugly?

1  hour-So, wife gone…woman with cheeks.  Cheeks!  Who made this movie?  They need help.

1 hour 15 minutes-I need another drink.  Can I drink everytime I see something that doesn’t make sense?

Editor’s note: At this point, thinking he was watching a different David Lynch movie, Rupert mimes a performance of the classic Roy Orbison song “In Dreams.”

1 hour 30 minutes-In Dre-he-eams, you’re mine….all something…behind…We’re together…

1 hour 45 minutes-Blaaaaarg!!!!
Editor’s Note: Here, Rupert abandoned his quest to continue his search for Glomptor the Head Nymph and hopefully gain access to the wood nymph treasury.

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